Catching Up

My baby is now 2 years old. How is that possible? Wasn't it just a few months ago I was in the hospital for 5 weeks trying to keep him growing safely inside me? What a blessing it is that he is healthy and growing up. All those fears and tears seem so long ago at times. Many thanks to all of you who prayed for this child during his pregnancy!

Catching up... Wow, it has been so long since I have blogged on a regular basis. Not that I am not writing blog posts in my head all the time! I wish I could just think them and they would appear! My life has radically changed in the last two years. Not just having another baby and all that this entails, but my overall health has declined. So many doctors appointments, specialists, tests, blood work, a surgical muscle biopsy, medication trials, MRI's, EKG's and ECHO's. Add to that an overnight at the hospital about a month ago when I couldn't stand up without my heart rate going from normal to 145 bpm and then I would faint.

What is wrong with me? That, dear readers, is the million dollar question. I was blessed with two great specialist this summer: a cardiologist and a neurologist. We think we have finally figured out, with medication, how to keep my current heart problems under control. Diagnosis is POTS. But the neurological stuff is still a work in progress. What we know is that I have a neuromuscular disease. What we don't know is which one. The "episode's" I get seem a lot like MS, but my brain MRI was normal. I have a lot of the symptoms of an adult onset Muscular Dystrophy. But, my neurologist doesn't have enough information yet to be able to truly assign that as my "root" disease either. While we continue to search for a diagnosis, we are also pursing the right combination of medications and supplements to improve quality of life.

"You look fine!" (Please watch this short video) This is something I hear a lot. Of course, on the really bad days no one sees me... I'm in bed for days at a time. Most days I am in a lot of pain. Lately, it is my arms, hands, left hip and back. My hands are weak and I can't do much with them anymore (like cutting up things for meals or opening jars). Typing can cause pain if I don't already have some pain meds in me. Some days I have extreme fatigue along with the pain. And some days my brain doesn't work right: I can't think of the words I need to speak, or things are really foggy, etc. I don't sleep well as pain wakes me up a lot.

This is certainly a new journey for me, my husband and our family. Each day can be so different for me. It is hard to make plans because I don't know how I will feel. I fight discouragement and during really bad days, despair. And yet, my hope is in the Lord! He is my Strong Tower! He is my Help in this troubled time!

I never like to talk about my health or what is going on. I have tried to keep it kind of under the radar, hoping we would find some answers, some treatments and be done with this journey sooner than later. I can't deny any longer what our current reality is. My journey of motherhood, homeschooling and even being a wife has changed. I am having to find new ways to make things "work" for us. I am having to "let go" of many things I used to do and still want to do. I am learning a new level of contentment where God has me right now.

No pity party here, friends! Let us all encourage one another to love and good works whatever our circumstances are! I hope to be able to post more about how I/we are finding new ways to do things, large family and all, in sickness and in health. Maybe this will also encourage others in their daily struggles.

I'm home!

After spending a mostly sleepless night in the hospital, I am so happy to be home again! I would have been home sooner, but I had a reaction to the vitamins they put in the second IV bag they started on me yesterday. They stopped everything and between watching me, checking my BP, checking my blood glucose (it was fine) and some oxygen, I finally stopped feeling so dizzy. Then we had to wait for my OB to come out of surgery to okay switching back to the regular lactated ringers IV solution. Once we got that going again, I actually started feeling hungry for the first time in a couple of days.

Baby is great! He did wonderfully during the three NST's they did while I was in the hospital (one per shift).

I was very blessed, once again, to have great nurses. Actually, a whole different group than the last two times I was in. At this rate, I'll get to know the whole staff by the time we deliver! LOL!

I will see my OB again next Tuesday and have an ultrasound right before I see him. So, we have moved up to weekly appointments a little earlier than we expected, but all expectations are pretty much out the window at this point! My partially packed hospital bag was of no use to me sitting on the closet floor at home and me in the hospital! I never thought to bring it with us to my OB appt. yesterday! Guess it would be better to take it with us every time and not need it than to be without it. Just the little things like some clean clothes, your own comb, toothbrush, shampoo, etc. are sure nice to have with you!

Best laid plans... yeah... out the window.... lol !

A few days in a hotel....

...would have been a lot more fun than spending the last 3 days in the hospital.

I woke up Sunday at 2 AM with extreme bladder and right side back pain. I mean, extreme. I tried to cope and get back to sleep, first with Tylenol, then 2 hours later with some Vicodin. Two more hours later I was whimpering/crying/thrashing with the pain. I tried taking a hot shower to see if I "just" had slept funny and that is why my back hurt so much. The shower didn't help and drying off and getting dressed made the back pain worse. I waited till a "decent" hour to call my friend Dana who is a midwife to get her opinion. She said "Go to the emergency room NOW". **gulp** Okay, okay.

Hubby took me to the ER at the hospital I am hoping to deliver at (we haven't ever used this hospital for a delivery, but I have been there for a couple of friends births and each time I am impressed), which is not very close to our house, about 20 min. away when there isn't any traffic. I walked/hobbled into the ER while hubby parked the car. They take one look at me and put me in a wheelchair. I tell them I'm 20 weeks pregnant and they call the labor and delivery dept. and basically decide they will send me up there and if they don't want me/don't think that is where I should be, they will send me back down.

This was a real blessing. I did not have to spend anytime sitting in the ER waiting room, or wait for hours to be seen, all the while in a lot of pain. I went right up to a tiny labor and delivery "observation" room (since I wasn't having a baby I didn't need the big rooms that are all set up for delivery's and newborn care). I was in a bed immediately, with tests being run, pain medicine administered and an IV started not long after I arrived.

Based on my symptoms and test results they were thinking bladder infection with a kidney infection and/or kidney stone. I was started on IV antibiotics, hydration and pain control. An ultrasound of the kidney didn't show any obstructions or stones, so we kept to the treatment of a kidney infection. Meantime, they monitored the baby a few times a day, but he/she is a very happy camper, in spite of my illness and misery.

I never knew kidney infections hurt so much. As my before-mentioned-friend Dana describes the pain, it is like someone in stiletto heals is stepping on your back, right through your kidney. Yup, that sums it up.

I spent Sunday, Monday and half of Tuesday in the labor and delivery dept, occasionally hearing the "noises" of transition or pushing and the delightful sounds of newborn baby cries. I think if I was closer to my due date it would have been harder to leave there without a baby in my arms. As it is I have 19 weeks till my due date, and about 17 weeks till my OB plans to do the c-section because of my still VERY complete, placenta previa (had an US of that while I was in the hospital, since I was just "lying around" with not much else to do and was going to miss my scheduled US at my OB's office, because I was in the hospital), barring any problems making an even earlier delivery necessary.

All the nurses were so great and they all said "good-bye for now, and I hope to see you when you come back to have this baby". I am so thankful I chose to go to this hospital. It was great!

For now, the plan is 10 days of oral antibiotics, pain relief as needed, rest, see the OB in a week, etc. Further out plans still include bed rest at 28 weeks, which is now 7 weeks away. AFTER I am back on my feet again, I need to get back to working on school planning and figure out what we are going to do about meals when I am on bed rest.

Our wonderful church family is helping us out this week and bringing in meals through the weekend.

After I got home today all I have done is mostly sleep. You know, a hospital can be a great place to "rest", but not so great for sleep. I haven't slept more than 2 hours in a stretch since Saturday night. It is no wonder that once I crawled into my own, comfortable bed, that I couldn't keep my little eyeballs open any longer.

Next up: trying to get ready for a family camping trip that is next week. Eek!

Ultraound results : 16 weeks

Tuesday I had an ultrasound to check on the position of the placenta. It had been over the cervix for the first 10 weeks of this pregnancy. (picture to the left is not me, in case you were wondering)

I was 16 weeks Monday, June 2nd, so seeing the baby was awesome! So completely formed and kicking and touching his/her hands to the face, even watched the mouth open and close. Amazing! Baby looks great. We did not want to know the gender and we did not find out. He/she is a feisty little person... I already knew that, as I have been feeling the baby moving for over 2 weeks already. =)

What we did find out was the placenta is now completely over the cervix. This is a complete or total placenta previa. Not only that, but the WHOLE placenta is in the "lower segment" and the cord attaches right over the cervix (which my doctor called a "centroid" previa, but I haven't been able to find anything specific to that on the web). This makes that whole are very vascular - which means lots of veins attaching in the "worst" place they could attach. (See the graphic below - I believe the type of complete/total previa I have is like the middle one shown)

Monitoring the baby and plaenta via ultrasounds and OB appts. will be done frequently. I see my OB in 3 weeks and have another ultrasound in 5 weeks.

There is a lot of information about placenta previa's diagnosed this early in pregnancy moving up and away from the cervix before delivery. However, those are mostly from marginal or low-lying previa's or complete's where the cord attaches higher than right over the top of the cervix. I am not trying to be "doom and gloom" here, just looking at the facts. However, my God is a BIG God and I know He can and will do what ever He pleases with this placenta. We are praying it will move, but also to joyfully deal with it not moving and the complications that may arise, and not worrying in the meantime.

Note how in the graphic to the left that in this illustration of a total/complete previa, the cord is inserting into the placenta fairly high up and that a good portion of the placenta is above the lower segment. So it seems there are more than one type of complete/total previa.

The probability of bleeding problems later on with this type of previa is quite high. Because of this my OB said he will probably be putting me on bed rest at 28 weeks (that is in 11.5 weeks) and if I have a bleed I will probably be put in the hospital for the part or the rest of the pregnancy.

If I can make it further without needing an emergency c-section, they will schedule a c-section for 38 weeks, two weeks before the due date, because the risk of a bad bleed gets higher and higher, especially as contractions get stronger.

Because of this type of placenta previa, with the whole placenta being in the lower segment, my OB says the incision for the c-section will be done higher than the usual "low transverse" incision. (remember the whole lower area is full of placenta, no safe place to make an incision) There is also a much greater possibility of uncontrollable bleeding after they remove the placenta because that lower part of the uterus does not contract much at all, leading to uncontrollable hemorrhaging. Because of that, there is a higher "chance" of needing a hysterectomy to stop the bleeding. Though, my OB said he would do all he could for me, to avoid a hysterectomy (and went on to say, "so if we can get you through this delivery without a hysterectomy, hopefully NEXT TIME the placenta will implant higher up." Next time. Gotta love an a Christian OB who totally supports us in having a large family and even more children!).

It is a lot to process all in one day, isn't it? I do not want to borrow trouble or think the worse or worry about this situation, but leave it all in God's hands. There is also the part where I need to be doing what I can, especially after 28 weeks, to keep this baby safe and hopefully and prayfully, avoid any bleeds or complications.

I would greatly appreciate your prayers for me, baby, hubby and the whole family as we walk through this. None of us knows what tomorrow will bring. We can only pray and cling to our Savior for wisdom, direction and comfort for each day.

I have to add that there is MUCH I am thankful for right now. Thankful that we have a living, healthy baby (many of my friends have had miscarriages this year and I have greatly grieved with them over their losses ~ I am undeserving to be blessed again with another child and do not take fertility or that pregnancy equals a baby for granted). Thankful that we got an early diagnosis so that we can be preparing now for me to go on bed rest at 28 weeks. Thankful for friends and a great church family for their support and encouragement and offers of practical help once I am on bed rest. Thankful that my youngest is old enough that I don't have to carry her, since I am not supposed to be lifting heavy things. Thankful for a great, Christian OB who supports the Quiverfull mindset and is not using scare tactics and/or chastising us for having another baby or saying I have to have a tubal after this one. Thankful that God is always on His throne, always in control and always there to comfort us.

Is it really March already? SERIOUSLY?

Sorry I haven't posted in so long. Ongoing health issues keep me just trying to survive some days. As a bit of an update, we have a lead on a possible diagnosis for what is the root issue of my health problems. When we know more I will post about it. For now, my doctor is looking into finding the "right" doctor/specialist to send me to for this possible diagnosis.

Thanks to all of you who took time to leave comments! I so appreciate that! What I have ended up going with is Visions Glass Cookware by Corning. It is quite expensive on Ebay or to buy at the few places that still sell new pieces (they no longer produce this line), but God has blessed me greatly and I have found several pieces at my local Goodwill for very little money! I am still using my Stainless Steel large cook pot, which is so-so,(it doesn't have a flat bottom and so doesn't work well/heat evenly on my flat top stove). I also was able to find some non-aluminum deodorant on clearance at Walgreen's for like $0.70 each. So, I stocked up on several of those. Once those are gone I will look into some of the other options you wonderful readers have mentioned. =)

So, besides all that STUFF, what is going on around our household? Perhaps the biggest new thing is my goal to really work at saving money this year by lowering my grocery, household supplies and toiletries bill. I have learned a lot through many wonderful websites and blogs, especially about coupon shopping. I'll be sharing more on this in a future post. Let's just say just the thought of the Sunday paper coupon inserts set my heart a'flutter these days! LOL!

With following a stocking up while items are at their lowest prices plan I have saved some serious money! I have stayed away from Costco almost entirely, because as it turns out, most of the items I buy there, though not all, can be bought for less when those items are on sale when you have a coupon to go with them. Also, finding really good deals (and knowing what a good deal is) has allowed me, for instance, to buy 80/20 hamburger meat at Safeway on sale for $0.99 per pound (this was still from the butcher block and not those somewhat strange "tubes" of hamburger meat - I have an aversion to buying meat I can't SEE). As a comparison, I was (blindly) buying 88/12 hamburger meat at Costco for $2.59 per pound. I say blindly because I had it in my mind that Costco always has the best prices. Wrong.

I'll admit, I was skeptical at first. So, I took the time to go through Costco and make a list of all the items I usually buy there, price per pound/ounce/etc. so that I can refer to that when I look at grocery ads each week. That has really helped!

I also made a change in what I buy for chicken. To save time, ahem, I have bought the skinless/boneless chicken breasts at Costco for years, which turns out costs $2.31 per pound. Well, I am now buying whole chickens and finding them on sale, and then stocking up on them (my full size freezer is getting quite the workout now!) for $0.68 per pound! Yes, more work and with the chicken breasts there isn't any waste, but the savings is significant! It is also better for my kids to stop being so picky about white meat and thinking dark meat is unhealthy or such. LOL.

I will admit that finding enough coupons to make it worth it for a family of our size was a challenge at first. But, I swallowed what little pride I have (let's face it, people offer us their hand-me-downs pretty often, and the first time they do they are always afraid of offending,but I say who cares if they are hand-me-downs, bring them on!), lol, and starting knocking on neighbors doors (well, two of them) and now one neighbor gives me all their coupon inserts each week! Plus I asked a friend who I knew gets the paper if she used hers and so when we see each other she gives those to me. AND, my wonderful husband even asked around at work and I usually get 1-2 sets of inserts and food day grocery store ads (that gets me extra Safeway doubler coupons and coupons, which I use one set at Safeway and another at Albertson's - they take any grocery store competitor coupons) each week. Plus, if there is an especially GREAT coupon insert Sunday paper I can always buy an extra paper for $1.50. That is a small cost when coupons are saving me over $100 or more each week.

I am also learning lots about Register Rewards, Easy Saver Rebates, Single Check Rebates and Catalina's.

I also find myself with lots of coupons we won't/don't use. Two of my sisters are swapping coupons with me that we have extras of, but I'm thinking of a more organized way to do that. I just read about a coupon "train" and it sounds interesting.

Leave me a comment if you are interested in hearing more about coupon saving shopping, if you are already doing this and how you like it, and if you are interested in a coupon train (you need to already be doing coupon shopping and clipping the Sunday newspaper inserts each week).

I hope to make a post full of great links for everyone to explore; from the beginners basics, to online grocery coupon printing sites (yes, these are totally legal and the grocery stores take them), freebie sites, and MORE!

Happy March!

Health Update

Several of you have asked about my health and mentioned that you are still praying for me. THANK YOU! I so appreciate your prayers. For now, I am better, but not 100%. What that means is I am back to being able to do most of the things I used to do, with a few bads days here and there that I have no energy and get a bit dizzy again. My jaw has also started acting up again, so I am back in physical therapy too.

There are still some tests coming up this month to explore what is going on inside of me. One is coming up this week for a specialized test to see if there is any low level infection in my jawbone. A low level, ongoing infection can certainly drain the body and harm the immune system. We will be traveling to the state north of us, about 4.5 hours, from home for this appt.

The following week I will be having an upper and lower endoscopy to see if there is anything amiss since I had several bacterial infections in my gut. Though I will be sedated for this, the day before it you have to do a serious cleanse that is sure to be less than fun. =)

My doctor also tested me for heavy metals and I came back off the chart for, of all things, aluminum. Chelation therapy, which we already started, will help with this. I also have to try to remove as much environmental exposure as possible. Okay, so maybe I'm the last person on the planet to stop using anti-persperent (it has aluminum in it)? You know, for women, there aren't many choice of just "deodorant" on the market. I found one by Tom's of Maine. Next, most of my pots and pans are aluminum. **groan** So, now I am trying to figure out what to replace them with. Stainless steel? Cast iron? If anyone has any suggestions I would love to hear them! I'm leaning toward cast iron, at least for skillets,(though I am apprehensive over their weight, as I have weak muscles with this "illness"), but what am I going to replace my 8 qt. pot that I cook nearly every day in?

So, this is where I am right now. Some days I get discouraged. The Lord is so good to see that on those days someone sends me an email or a blog comment or a note in the mail that encourages me!

I so appreciate your prayers for me, my family and for my doctors to have wisdom.

Hanging up my "Super Mom" cape...

In case anyone is wondering what happened to me since the wedding, rest assured I am still alive. My health has taken a bit of a bad turn and so I haven't focused much on blogging. I won't bore you with the details and we still don't know everything (waiting on some more blood test and MRI results). Hoping and praying to have enough information for the doctor to put it all together and decide on a treatment plan. He knows what some of the issues are but doesn't want to miss anything, so waiting to start some treatments until he has all the info. While I do appreciate the thouroghness, it is hard to wait to start treatment. I do want to start feeling better.

Meanwhile, God is teaching me much about my expectations verses what my body can do right now. I am having to lay low..not exactly bedrest, but I can't do much more than that. Learning how to run the household from my room, do school in my room, entertain the kids in my room etc. We had a church activity at our house for the group that went to Gleanings for a week in August (not the two weeks we were there, but one of our sons also went with our church for an additional week) and the youngest seven and I stayed upstairs in my room and had a picnic dinner on the floor and watched a movie on my laptop. The kids ate crackers, almonds, cheese sticks, grapes, and carrots. We had a great time!

This new season of mom being sick may turn into a whole topic here, as I learn how to cope with these new circumstances and still homeschool, keep the house in some sort of order and take care of myself at the same time. I think my older children are and will be learning more about cooking, lol. I am learning how to ask for help even in things that seem so simple. For instance, if I can get one of the kids to take my dirty laundry down to the washer on Saturdays, I can start it (I like to check for spots and stains that need treating before the washer starts and the kids aren't too good about that aspect of laundry), have the kids move it to the dryer, then bring the dry clothes up to me in my room and I can sit on the floor and fold the laundry without wearing myself completely out. It is hard to depend so much on others, but I am being forced to learn.

Appreciate your prayers for wisdom for my doctor and healing for my body. I also want to learn all that God has for me to learn during this time, enjoy it as much as I can, in that I have more time to just snuggle with my kids, read to them,etc. And, yes, it is a bit sad that it takes me getting this sick to slow down enough and "smell the flowers". I have been blessed with a lovely garden of children and it is too easy to be so caught up in the day to day busyness of a big family that I miss out on actually really, REALLY, enjoying my children/flowers. Breathe deeply of the oh-so-sweet fragrance of each child!