Romance? Originally posted 2/2006

It seems a strange thing to us that most people smirk when David and I mention that we are working on improving the romance in our relationship. Apparently because we have twelve children they are led to believe romance is not a problem for us. David and I both understand that after the last little Davenport leaves home, (hard to imagine that time right now!), we do not want to be strangers and we want to still be madly in love!

One of our favorite scenes in the newer version of Cheaper By The Dozen is when Mr. Baker catches Mrs. Baker watching him as he walks toward their van. He says to her," You were checking me out, weren't you?". She admits she was. He smiles, does a sort of happy dance and says," Twelve kids and we still have the heat!". That the parents are still married and in love is probably the best message in this movie.

It always fascinates me how God works in both of our hearts, separately, but at the same time on the same issue. To say our relationship gets a bit strained with sharing a house with 10 children (our oldest two are at Gleanings in CA as mission builders - not sure how long they will be there but possibly till the end of summer 2006), and having a nursing newborn who doesn't always sleep through the night, is an understatement. We miss having quality time together. Just a chance to talk without being interrupted. Or, as my friend Dana says, being able to talk to someone I haven't given birth to! One of the things I was working on to keep our relationship fresh was:

a)carving out special time together at home

b)plans to surprise David with rearranging our room, painting it and making it generally nicer

I will write about what I have done for part (a) on a later post. For now, I will focus on part (b). I got the room rearranged one day while David was at work. Shortly after this he was inspired to think about making our room nicer and searched the web for ideas. He found an article I will add the link below for you to read (Disregard the Feng Shui stuff in the article - there is a lot of other good info in it.) After reading the article we both got to thinking of all we could do to make our room a beautiful "love nest". Of course my surprise was shot, but for the better. I got to go shopping for new bedding and drapes and next is paint. I never would have made such a dramatic change without David wanting it done! But this is going to turn out 10 times better than what my surprise ideas were!

The Lord really blessed us with helping me find beautiful things all on sale or clearance. (Like a $375 bedding set for $112!) I am going to attempt to remake our bedside lamps to match the new decor (That was David's idea - spray paint and trim right?). I even found a room screen (one of those with 3 sections that you can fold up) in a cherry stain finish (which is what we have on our bedroom furniture) on clearance at Fred Meyer. It was normally $119.00 and I got it for $39.00! Oh, I got it to hide the treadmill in our room since moving it out of our room is out of the question for now. So, you don't have to spend a lot of money to make your bedroom nicer.

I will post a picture when we get the room all done. It's all the painting that will take a while. Hopefully it will be soon though!

Here is my challenge to you: after you read this article plan to do (or just do it!) one thing that is suggested as a good change for your bedroom. You could also share the article with your spouse and makes some plans together. Share your thoughts and results in the comment section please! No change is too small. De-cluttering is a huge thing and a great place to start.

I have also posted below a link for a great book to read together with your spouse. It is a study of the Song of Solomon, and you can use it as an 8 week bible study or just read it together. It has a section on making your bedroom a special place; a place that is relaxing, comfortable and beautiful. They refer to it as "Engedi". This book would also make a great Valentines gift for your sweetie. Maybe even read it together by candlelight in a nice, warm bubble bath!

Lastly, I've put a picture of the before and after of our nightstand lamps I painted to match our "new" room. They were very plane, light blue to start with and I spray painted them with a gold "stone" spray paint. Then, with a hot glue gun, I added some goldish brown trim from the fabric store to the top and bottom edges of the lamp shade. New lamps would have cost at least $10 a piece and it is unlikely I would have found any to match our new colors for that price. With the spray paint and trim it cost me less than $10 to re-make both lamps.

Blessings,
jerri

10 Sure-Fire Feng Shui Tips for More Romance - By Kathryn Weber
http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Weber6.html


Intimacy Ignited - By Joseph and Linda Dillow
Conversations Couple to Couple: Fire Up Your Sex Life with the Song of Solomon

The Royal Bedroom

~Originally posted 2/2006~

The "before" picture:


White walls, white trim, white fixtures,white, white, WHITE. The original owners bought the basic white, and no upgrades when they bought this house.(long story, but they sold it 2 months after buying it last June - to us - because they had to move out of state for a job. We are slowly getting things painted and adding color and wood trim, etc. to the house.

After reading the article I mentioned in a previous post we decided to go with really rich colors.

After pictures:


Our children call our room the "castle room" because it looks like where a king and queen would live. Well, it is where the king and queen live, so we call it the royal bedroom now! For some reason my camera is having a hard time getting the colors to look right and be in focus at the same time. So I've posted two different pics for you to see.


If you are interested in a bed canopy you can buy one for $19.99 plus shipping at ABC Distributing. They come in white or ivory. I actually bought one in white first, because I was getting it go with the quilt in the "before" picture. We tried it with the new bedding, but it was too white to go with all those rich earthy colors. So, got an ivory one. If anyone who is local to me would like to buy the white one from me, I'll sell it to you for what it cost me. It is a bargin compared to what they cost in stores! It would make a great Valentines Day surprise! And, it is easy to install!

Romance: Making Special Time

~Originally Posted 2/2006~

My hope here is that by my sharing some of the things I have come up with lately to make sure hubby and I have special time together, that you will be inspired and come up with your own ideas. Obviously, all our situations are different and my ideas may not work for your situation. Try to use my ideas as a springboard to help you come up with your own. You have to decide what will work best for your situation. The most important thing is to try something! It doesn't have to be for Valentines Day, but that might be fun if you didn't think you could do something special for your honey that day!

Let me start by sharing the things that make it difficult for my husband and I to get out for a date or have special time together lately. The biggest obstacle is the nursing baby. She just turned 3 months old and is not much fun to take to a restaurant or a movie, etc. She prefers to eat, be up for about an hour and then sleep till the next feeding. She does not, however, like to be in the car or her carseat for that matter. Another obstacle is my husbands work schedule. He works a condensed work week. That means he works 3 days one week and 4 days the next, but the days he works are 13+ hour days. In the mornings he leaves before I get up and he gets home pretty close to the time I am going to bed at night. On the days he is home we tend to be just a tad busy with raising and schooling our ten children who are still at home, working on the house, fixing whatever has broken while he was working the previous week, etc. Sometimes it seems like whole weeks sneak by without us getting anytime alone together. The other big obstacle are the ten children at home. We hardly ever get to talk to just one another. There is always someone asking us something, or interrupting us. You get the picture.

I decided that I would have to MAKE special time happen. If I/we didn’t plan it, it just wouldn’t happen! But, what could I do here at home to make a special, romantic interlude for my hard working hubby and I? Here are the things I have come up with and tried so far:

1.A bubble bath at night:
This is one I could do on a day hubby worked. I decided ahead of time I was going to do this so I got a little nap so I wouldn’t be so tired when he got home. He gets home after the youngest children are asleep, so when hubby got home I got him his dinner, gave the older kids their bedtime instructions, and then grabbed hubby and towed him upstairs to our room for the bath. Candles and low lights made it a really relaxing time, where he could soak his aching muscles from a hard days work and we could just sit and talk without being interrupted.


2.Picnic date in our bedroom: This works well for us because our room is really big and the baby’s room in in one half of our walk-in closet. I sent hubby out to pick up a nice dinner from a local steak place (so we didn’t have to cook), while I got the kids dinner made and set up our picnic area. I put comforters and pillows on the floor, put my laptop on a box so we could watch a movie while we ate, brought up the good china and glassware and lit lots of candles around the room. After hubby got back we told the older boys they were in charge (get dinner and bedtime done with the younger kids) and were not to disturb us unless there was an emergency. So, we ate our yummy steaks by candlelight while watching a movie together. When the baby woke up to eat I just brought her to the “picnic” and nursed her, played with her and put her back to bed for the night. It was very relaxing!

3.Weekend “Away” but at home: I had planned to surprise hubby by arranging for our children to spend Friday and Saturday nights at our friends house (wonderful friends!). Hubby would have to work Saturday ( he works every Sat.), but would have Sunday off, so we could have some time together Friday night, have breakfast together Sat. and he could also stop by for lunch with me on Saturday. Then we would have Sat. night through Sunday afternoon all to ourselves! (well, baby would be with us). About two weeks before the secretly planned weekend, my husband gets asked to work a Wed. for co-worker and the co-worker would work hubby’s Sat. shift. Wow! Hubby then said we should see about having our friends watch the kids so we could have a weekend alone! Great minds think alike! LOL! I had to share my secret, which was kind of a bummer, but he was very happy to know I had been working on it and told me to keep that idea for another time. We stayed at home instead of a hotel, which saved us money, got to sleep in our own bed, in our new beautiful bedroom and baby got to sleep in her own bed. Hubby got take-out food for a few of our meals so I wouldn’t have to cook too much, too!

The most important ingredient in these ideas is PLANNING AHEAD OF TIME. Gone are the days of being spontaneous. At least for the season we are in right now. It takes just a little effort to pre-plan a romantic interlude. Remember that these are just ideas. You may have to adjust them or come up with your own idea. I would list a few more ideas, but hubby reads this blog and I don’t want to give away any of my secret plans! LOL!

Please share any of your own ideas you have done for dates at home. The more ideas the better!