July 26, 2008

100 days

My 4 year old daughter asked me AGAIN this morning when are we "getting" the baby. Today? Tomorrow? She somewhat understands that I am on bed rest to help the baby grow till he is big enough to be born and be healthy (we hope and pray). Somehow she isn't grasping how very long away that day will, hopefully, be.

I tried showing her on my pocket calendar (that I keep with me while I spend my days in the recliner in my room) where today is and flipped through August, then through September, on through October and finally landing in November. "This is when we hope the baby will be born". Her eyes glazed over a bit.

I realized two things in that moment:
1. She is too young to comprehend this amount of time.
2. I was suddenly very aware of just how LONG it is going to be, and was startled by the enormity of it. My heart did a little flip. Not the kind of flip it makes when my hubby walks into the room, mind you. The kind of flip that is edging toward panic.

I decided for my daughter's benefit, and also for my own, to make a countdown chart of the days "left to go" till we expect the baby to be born (at 38 weeks a planned c-section, praying bed rest will be enough to keep the placenta from bleeding before then). I added it up. It is exactly 100 days from today. 100 days. **gulp**

No wonder the Lord tells us to take one day at a time, not worrying about tomorrow. It can be overwhelming to look ahead at all those "tomorrow's" yet to come. Not just in my situation, but in many, many situations.

My daughter will have the joy of crossing off each day as it comes, watching as the numbers go down and hopefully gaining an understanding of just how many days till the baby arrives. And, for me? I will rejoice in each day that gets crossed off, not looking at how many are left, but how many we have crossed off, each day a victory and a blessing that this little one is still inside me growing and thriving.


Leanne said...

I loved your post, Jerri.

I needed the reminder to just take one day at a time and to not worry about tomorrow.

I can't wait to hear that your baby is born safely and in God's time.

I'm praying for you!


My Boaz's Ruth said...

My friend's daughter was born Nov 2, 12 years ago after a LONG time on bedrest (and came early at that)

Daughter was fine and healthy, despite many scares.
And she is now 12 years old and babysitting my baby. Praying for similar results for you.

Jenni said...

Aw! It does sound daunting when you add it all up. But, as Dory says in Nemo "just keep swimming! just keep swimming!"

One day at a time, right? Each day has enough troubles of its own and all that? Somehow that was never as comforting to me as I guess it was meant to be. ;o)

Thank you for your thoughtful comment over at my place! I responded over there, but wanted to come over here and say so too. Your points were definitely spot-on, and only kept from my piece in the interest of not taking over Shannon's blog, LOL.

I really hate when people ask me "how many do you want?" or "how many will you have?" or "will you have any more?"

Just...just...argh. I don't know. If it isn't obvious after 12 that IT'S OUT OF OUR HANDS, will it ever be?

Blessings to you,

Jenni said...

Oh dear! You did have to go add it up didn't you? I'm due the same time and wow that does sound like a long time. But I'm not complaining, I may have really awful varicose veins but I'm not on bed rest, so I can easily pass the days without thinking too much of it. But I can totally relate to the little ones asking and asking again WHEN will this baby come. I knew it was going to be a long road for them when at 12 weeks we heard the heart beat for the first time and Eamon, our 3 year old asked if the baby could come out today?! Wow, I wasn't even showing yet :) It's good for them though. Bless you again Jerri, you are definitely in our thoughts and prayers and I completely sympathize with you! May these 100 days fly by for you!

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